Wednesday, 7 July 2010

NCIS a review based solely on how hot Abby is.

Firstly, here is the stunning character Abby Sciuto played by Pauley Perrette in the series NCIS.

Okay I don't want to hate on Pauley Perrette, she is a fine actress, as well as being just plain fine. And she has been in alot of films I have enjoyed and I thoroughly enjoyed her character in NCIS, and not just because she was a goth with pigtails and some cool body art. But enough about Abby for the moment, we'll get back to her soon.

Okay, remember in my last post when I said I give every series 5 episodes before I decide whether to continue on or not? Yeah well NCIS didn't even make it to 3, like The Lost Room before it this series was so dire, such a rip off I just couldn't allow myself to watch it. And I've watched every episode of Ultimate Force, so I know I can watch and enjoy total shite.
Even the idea of it was offensive to me, when I heard about NCIS the first thing to cross my mind was 'CSI, on the high seas' and to say the least I was unimpressed. In all seriousness CSI was good, the spin offs I didn't enjoy, but after the success of CSI ever Tom Dickhead and Harry tv station picked up a Crime Scene Investigation series. For fucks sake you can't throw a dead rat on SKY without kitting some fucking retarded CSI rip off such as:

Yeah it's gotten so bad that 'Crime Scene Cleaners' is an actual series on NatGeo. If you have SKy close your eyes and stab at the numbers on your remote, there's at least a 85% chance you'll end up on some Crime scene based series.

Now back to Abby and NCIS. Okay so the first episode was okay, couple of gunshots, sadly no nudity, definitely a mystery to be solved and then they added the hottie, in the form of:

This is where I started to see the cracks in the flaking plaster wall that is NCIS. Now I have no problem with a woman in a sciency show, I mean one of the CSI spin offs has one of the most gratuitously cleavaged women on tv. So I can understand the ideal. But Abby is a lab tech, I have no problem with lab techs either, and she's a goth, I have absolutely no problem with goths. But I put all these together and the only thing I could think was 'DISTRACTION!', the only reason I can see for Abby is to keep us unfocussed and off balance as they blindly stab a plot into a keyboard with a duck.

So, In my expert opinion, NCIS is total bollocks only good for those who wish to stare mindlessly at a hot goth chick in a lab coat......
What am I saying? NCIS RULES!!!!

Just kidding, as a concept it could have been great, it was only let down by a guy in a blindfold with a duck and a typewriter. I didn't enjoy it but maybe that's just me.

Quack bitches, I'm out!

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